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| =Copypasta=
| | Copy from http://topmeds10.com/?aid=73e86866e5&q=valium |
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| ==The Original Lyrics==
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| Now, this is a story all about how
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| My life got flipped-turned upside down
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| And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
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| I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air
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| In west Philadelphia born and raised
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| On the playground was where I spent most of my days
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| Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
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| And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
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| When a couple of guys who were up to no good
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| Startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood
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| I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared
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| She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air'
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| I begged and pleaded with her day after day,
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| But she packed my suit case and send me on my way.
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| She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
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| I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
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| First class, yo this is bad,
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| Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
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| Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
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| Hmmmmm this might be alright.
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| | |
| But wait I hear their prissy, bouisior and all that
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| Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat?
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| I don't think so; I'll see when I get there
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| I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
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| Well, the plane landed and when I came out
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| There was a dude who looked like a cop and yelled my name out
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| I ain't trying to get arrested, I just got here
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| I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared
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| I whistled for a cab and when it came near
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| The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
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| If anything I can say this cab is rare
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| But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
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| I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
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| And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
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| I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
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| To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
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| ==300 Version==
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| Well this is a story all about how,
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| My kingdom got flip-turned upside down.
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| I'd like to take a minute please check Encarta,
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| I'll tell you how I died while defending Sparta.
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| In Sparta of Greece born and raised,
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| Ruling warriors was how I spent most of my days.
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| Chillin out, phalanxin, training all cool,
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| And killing giant wolves instead of school.
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| When a couple of Persians, who were up to no good,
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| Started bribin Senators in my neighborhood.
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| I killed one little messenger and they all got scared and said,
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| "We're not givin you soldiers, take your royal guard there."
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| I whistled for a legion and when it came near,
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| There was only a couple Greeks and some Thespians here,
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| If anything I could say that doom awaits,
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| But I thought, "Nah, forget it, yo Spartans to the hot gates."
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| We fought Persian waves, about 7 or 8,
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| And I heard from my allies, "Its an honor, Leonidas",
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| Looked at Xerxes, there was no way outta this,
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| "We'll see your trooops soon, at Salamis."
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| ==Flipped Version==
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| ¡ɹıɐ-lǝq ɟo ǝɔuıɹd ǝɥʇ sɐ ǝuoɹɥʇ ʎɯ uo ʇıs oʇ
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| ¡ǝɹǝɥʇ ʎllɐuıɟ sɐʍ ı
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| 'ɯopƃuıʞ ʎɯ ʇɐ pǝʞool ı
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| ,¡ɹǝʇɐl ɐʎ llǝɯs 'ǝɯoɥ oʎ, ǝıqqɐɔ ǝɥʇ oʇ pǝllǝʎ ı
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| 'ʇɥƃıǝ ɹo uǝʌǝs ʇnoq ʇɐ ǝsnoɥ ǝɥʇ oʇ dn pǝllnd ı
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| ,¡ɹıɐ-lǝq oʇ ǝɯoɥ 'oʎ - ʇı ʇǝƃɹoɟ 'ɥɐu, ʇɥƃnoɥʇ ı ʇnq
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| 'ǝɹɐɹ sɐʍ qɐɔ sıɥʇ ʇɐɥʇ ʎɐs plnoɔ ı ƃuıɥʇʎuɐ ɟı
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| 'ɹoɹɹıɯ ǝɥʇ uı ǝɔıp pɐɥ puɐ
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| ',ɥsǝɹɟ, pıɐs ǝʇɐld ǝsuǝɔıl ǝɥʇ
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| 'ɹɐǝu ǝɯɐɔ ı uǝɥʍ puɐ qɐɔ ɐ ɹoɟ pǝlʇsıɥʍ ı
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| | |
| ,¡ɹıɐ-lǝq uı ǝlɔun puɐ ǝıʇunɐ ɹnoʎ ɥʇıʍ uıʌoɯ ǝɹ,noʎ, pıɐs ǝɥs
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| 'pǝɹɐɔs ʇoƃ ɯoɯ ʎɯ puɐ ʇɥƃıɟ ǝlʇʇıl ǝuo uı ʇoƃ ı
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| 'pooɥɹnoqɥƃıǝu ʎɯ uı ǝlqnoɹʇ ,uıʞɐɯ pǝʇɹɐʇs
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| 'pooƃ ou oʇ dn ǝɹǝʍ oɥʍ sʎnƃ ,o ǝldnoɔ ɐ uǝɥʍ
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| 'looɥɔs ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝpısʇno llɐq-q ǝɯos uıʇooɥs llɐ ,uɐ
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| 'looɔ llɐ ,uıxɐlǝɹ ',uıxɐɯ 'ʇno uıllıɥɔ
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| 'sʎɐp ʎɯ ɐʇsoɯ ʇuǝds ı ǝɹǝɥʍ sı punoɹƃʎɐld ǝɥʇ uo
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| 'pǝsıɐɹ ,uɐ uɹoq
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| 'ɐıɥdlǝpɐlıɥd ʇsǝʍ uı
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| ɹıɐ-lǝq pǝllɐɔ uʍoʇ ɐ ɟo ǝɔuıɹd ǝɥʇ ǝɯɐɔǝq ıʍoɥ noʎ llǝʇ ll,ı
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| 'ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇɥƃıɹ ʇıs ʇsnɾ
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| 'ǝʇnuıɯ ɐ ǝʞɐʇ oʇ ǝʞıl p,ı puɐ
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| 'uʍop ǝpısdn pǝuɹnʇ - pǝddılɟ ʇoƃ ǝɟıl ʎɯ ʍoɥ ʇnoqɐ llɐ 'ʎɹoʇs ɐ sı sıɥʇ ʍou
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| ==Queen's English Version==
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| To begin, this is a tale of how my very existence was twisted and transformed in a most peculiar way. Please have a seat, for I wish to take a moment to relate to you the fascinating odyssey which ultimately led to my reign as the Prince of Bel-Air. I was sired and reared in West Philadelphia. As a lad, most of my time was spent at the neighborhood recreation center where I would laze about and relax in a most charming manner - that is, when I was not engaging my chums in a friendly game of basketball at the schoolhouse. Around this time, two young hooligans had begun to stage a campaign of vandalism and intimidation in my neighborhood. When my mother discovered I had had a bit of an altercation with the ruffians, she insisted I leave town at once and take up lodgings with my aunt and uncle in Bel-Air. As the taxi approached, heeding my beckoning whistle, I could discern the word "FRESH" emblazoned upon its license plate, and took particular note of the pair of plush novelty dice which hung from the rear-view mirror. I was a bit taken aback by these strange omens, but quickly put them out of my mind as I cheerfully called to the driver: "To Bel-Air, my good man!" We arrived safely in Bel-Air at dusk, and as the driver came to a stop in front of the house where I was to live, I left him with the words: "Farewell, sir. Perhaps my nostrils shall delight in your aroma once more!" To be sure, it was a long journey, and as I gazed upon my estate in all its splendor, I knew once and for all that my rightful place was on the throne - as the young scion of the great and mighty kingdom of Bel-Air!
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| ==Hitler Version==
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| In Western Europe born and raised,
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| At the theater room where I spent most of my days,
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| Planning, plotting, and acting all cool,
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| And all shootin' some traitors to instill fear in the fools,
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| When a couple of Allies who were up to no good
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| Started running forces through our neck of the woods,
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| We lost a couple of little fights and my generals got scared,
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| They said "You're moving with your cabinet to the bunkers down there"
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| I waited for my escorts and when they came near,
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| The jeeps had troops and guns in the rear,
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| If anything I thought this protection was rare,
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| But I said "Nah forget it, yo home to down there!"
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| I pulled up to the elevator at about seven or eight,
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| And yelled to the guys "Yo troops, your medals come later"
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| I looked at my bunker, I was finally there,
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| To settle my defeat as I breathed in stale air.
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| ==Saddam Version==
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| NOW THIS IS A STORY ALL ABOUT HOW
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| IRAQ GOT FLIPPED TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
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| AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE SO JUST SIT TIGHT
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| I'LL TELL YOU HOW I GOT HANGED AT 10 PM JUST LAST NIGHT.
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| IN THE BLEAK IRAQI DESERT I WAS BORN AND RAISED
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| STARTIN' CONFLICTS IS HOW I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
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| INVADIN', DICTATIN', KILLIN' PEOPLE ALL COOL
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| AND SHOOTIN' SON-IN-LAWS RIGHT OUTSIDE OF THEIR SCHOOLS
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| WHEN GEORGE W. BUSH THOUGHT I WAS UP TO NO GOOD
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| AND STARTED MAKIN' TROUBLE IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
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| SO I HID IN MY HOLE UNTIL THEY FOUND ME AND SAID
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| "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR OR WE'LL SHOOT YOUR ASS DEAD."
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| THEY WHISTLED FOR A JUDGE AND WHEN HE CAME NEAR
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| THEY THREW ME IN A CELL AND HE SAID I WAS A QUEER
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| THEY KEPT ME IN PRISON, I DIDN'T GET A FREE PASS
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| AND SOON I WAS ON TRIAL FOR KILLING PEOPLE WITH GAS.
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| THEY. SAID. I HAD DISPERSED BIOWEAPONS EVERYWHERE
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| AS I YELLED TO THE KURDS "YO HOMES, HOW 'BOUT THAT AIR?"
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| I LOOKED AT MY NOOSE, AND IT WAS EASY TO TELL
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| I'D SOON BE FLYIN' FIRST CLASS, DIRECTLY DOWN INTO HELL.
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| ==Locutus Version==
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| Now, this is a story all about how
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| My life got flipped-turned upside down
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| And I'd like to take a minute, just beam aboard,
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| I'll tell you how I got turned into Locutus of Borg
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| In the 24th century born and raised
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| On the Enterprise was where I spent most of my days
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| Seekin' out new life and civilizations
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| And all givin some Klingons a phaser cremation
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| When a couple of Cubes who were up to no good
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| Startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood
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| I got in one lil fight and Command got scared
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| They said 'You're movin' with the fleet, now get your ass out of there '
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| I put the cube onscreen and when it came near
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| The the shield arrays were down and it was losing its rear
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| If anything I can say this cube is rare
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| But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Beam us down over there!'
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| Some Borg drones grabbed me, about 7 or 8
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| And I yelled to Tom Riker 'Yo homes smell ya later'
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| I looked at my face plate, I was human no more
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| So now sit on my throne as Locutus of Borg.
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| ==Subeta Version==
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| Now this is a story all about how
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| Keith's life got flipped, turned upside down
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| And I'd like to take a minute, while you're at your keyboard
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| I'll tell you how the chans united to take out Subeta.org
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| North Carolina, born and raised
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| In mom's basement! That's where Keith spent most of his days
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| Chilling out with LJ, neopets all cool
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| Till he got emancipated and left home and school
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| When Keith pulled out a laptop
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| and he did something bad
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| Made a ripoff website based on Neofags
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| Then one little mod made Longcat a toy
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| and /b/ issued him a warning, "You're gonna get destroyed!"
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| /i/ begged and pleaded with him, after their raid
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| "Just take down Longcat, and we'll go on our way
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| He spit in our face and tried to DDoS
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| So all the chan /b/s assembled and said, "Lets kick his ass"
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| First day! Yo, prep for raid.
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| Writing raep.bat and CP to parade
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| In weeaboo foggotry those furries were living in
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| Hmm... this sounds like a win!
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| We wistled for some scripts and when they came near,
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| There were vamps, packet floods and a botnet to share
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| On Caturday we gave /b/ rpack.rar
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| Yo' /b/lackup, go get it, it's on Rapidshare!
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| /i/ took Subeta down about 7' or 8'
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| and then yelled to the fansites, "You're next!" They got raided!
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| Keith was on Valium, mods and members had quit,
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| Killed by Anon, and by wget!
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| ==Hal Turner Version==
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| Now this is the story all about how
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| Some anime nerds milked me like a lol-cow
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| And I'd like to tell all my fans (is anyone there?)
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| Why the channers took my radio show off the air
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| In Noth Bergen, New Jersey born and raised
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| In the KKK where I spent most of my days
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| Killing niggers then kikes in that exact order
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| And all shooting some wetbacks out on the border
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| When a couple of sites said that my show was no good
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| Started posting 'desu' in my neighbourhood
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| I started lurking chan sites and my fans got nervous
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| And said "I'm sorry but your show is now a subscription service"
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| I whistled for a cop and when he came near this
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| Dude was wearing an afro, a suit, and other nigra gear
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| If anything I could say that this cop was rare
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| But he said "LOL JK, YO HOLMES TO BEL AIR"
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| The channers, pulled, up to my house in groups of seven or eight
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| And they yelled to my neighbors "Hal Turner is full of hate!"
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| Looked at my website and at a blank screen I stare
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| Because the channers had taken my site off of the air
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| ==Zimmer Version==
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| HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE.
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| NOW THIS IS THE STORY ALL ABOUT HOW
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| EVERY PERSON IN THIS WORLD CAN'T RESIST MY PLOW
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| AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE TO TALK ABOUT MY KIT
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| YOU'LL LIKE THE WAY IT LOOKS...I GUARANTEE IT.
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| IN NEW YORK CITY, BORN AND RAISED
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| POLISHING MY PISTOL'S HOW I SPENT MY DAYS
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| FINGERING, TINKERING, TOUCHING UP MY TOOL
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| CLEANING IT AND MAKING ALL THE LOVELY LADIES DROOL
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| WHEN SUPERMAN FELL FROM THE SKIES ABOVE, SAID,
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| "I CAN PWN YOUR PURPLE-HELMETED WARRIOR OF LOVE".
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| SO I GAVE HIM A TASTE OF MY PILE-DRIVING PLEXUS AND REALIZED,
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| "I SHOULD MAKE MEN'S SUITS IN TEXAS".
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| I HAILED FOR A CAB AND WHEN IT CAME NEAR
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| IT HAD A STICKER THAT SAID "OBJECTS SMALLER IN MIRROR".
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| SAID I TO THE CABBIE "I CAN PROVE THAT WRONG!"
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| SO I SHOWED THE GOOD SIR MY SIZEABLE SCHLONG
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| IT VERILY WAS A SIGHT THAT HE JUST COULDN'T QUIT
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| AND THAT'S WHEN I FIRST PROCLAIMED, "I GUARANTEE IT!"
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| I PULLED UP TO MY MANSION WITH A TRUCK OF WOMEN
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| AND GAVE THEM ALL A TASTE OF MY OMNIPOTENT SEMEN
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| LOOKED AT MY KINGDOM AND KNEW I WOULD FIT
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| AND THAT'S HOW I CAME TO SAY, "I GUARANTEE IT".
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| ==EVE Online Version==
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| Well this is a story all about how
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| my ship got flip-turned upside down
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| I'd like to take a minute just sit there plain.
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| I'll tell you how I lost a pod in a region called Domain.
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| In West Chaven born and raised
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| in the roid fields was how i spent most of my days.
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| Chillin out minin strippin all cool
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| jacking some 1k rats outside near my school.
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| When a couple of newbs who were up to no good,
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| started jacking canisters in my neighborhood,
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| I shot 1 little round and his corp got scared and said
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| "We're blowing up your can and your little plane."
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| I whistled for some Help and when it came near
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| the license plate said CONCORD and they did nothing in here.
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| I could have said that lack of help was rare
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| but I thought "Nah that's Eve, yo holmes they're over there!"
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| I got back in a ship at about 7 or 8
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| and I yelled to my corpmate "Hey guys, check the Velator."
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| Just an unlucky day, there was nothin to blame,
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| and that's how I lost a pod in Domain.
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| ==Warhammer Version==
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| Now this is the story all about how
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| I sprang into being, just the way I am now
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| And I'd like to take a minute (if you've got some leisure)
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| I'll tell you how I became the Prince of Pleasure.
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| In the minds of the Eldar I was born and raised
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| In decadence and orgies they spent most of their days
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| Making out, molesting, and sleeping around
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| And the wildest banging that I ever found
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| When a couple of space elves found the sex was so good
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| That I instantly spawned in their neighborhood
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| The gods had never seen anything fairer
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| They said "You're moving in with us in the Eye of Terror."
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| I whistled for some daemons and when they came near
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| They had six breasts each and some astounding rears
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| If anything I should have raped them all, no error,
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| But I thought, "Nah, forget it! To the Eye of Terror!"
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| I created me a palace around ten thousand BC
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| And I yelled to my daemons, "Come have sex with me!"
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| I looked at my kingdom, it was awesome beyond measure,
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| And I sit on my throne as the Prince of Pleasure.
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| ==Damaged Goods Version==
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| Now this is a story all about how,
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| My life got flipped-turned upside down.
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| And I'd like to take a moment for you to understan',
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| I'll tell you how i became Damaged Goods on a site called 4chan.
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| In an undisclosed location born and raised.
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| School and clubs, were how i spent most of my days,
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| Chillin out maxin, playin DS, EBA's cool.
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| Leaving band practice after a day of school.
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| When a couple of drivers who were up to no good,
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| Started crashing shit into my parent's hood.
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| I got in one lil crash and the doc got scared,
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| They said 'you've lost 3 limbs and you're going to live in a chair'.
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| I yelled for a nurse and when he came near,
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| His nametag said Nurse-kun and he stuck a pill in my rear.
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| If anything I could say he had some evil plan,
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| But I thought 'Nah, Forget it' - 'yo holmes to 4chan'.
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| I. was. a triple amputee at only 7 or 8,
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| And I looked back on my old life 'See ya later'.
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| Sighed at my kingdom, hand me a bedpan,
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| I'm stuck as Damaged Goods on a site called 4chan.
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| ==Maddie McCann Version==
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| Now, this is a story all about how
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| Maddy got raped while upside down
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| And I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there,
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| I'll tell you how The McCann's got away with a girls murder.
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| In the United Kingdom born and raised
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| On the playground was where she spent most of her days
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| Sitting and swimming naked in the pool
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| And lookin' all wet for her daddy the fool
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| And Daddie's libido was up to no good
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| Started getting tight in his crotch hood
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| He raped little Maddie then mom got scared
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| She said '"Where gonna have to kill 'er and dump her somewhere"
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| They whistled for a cab and when it came near
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| The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
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| If anything they thought this cab is rare
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| But they said "Aw fuck it, to a ditch somewhere!"
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| I pulled up to the ditch about 7 or 8
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| And handed the cabby a 50 for him to clamup
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| Then they got an axe, a bag, and chopped their girl up.
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| They looked at the gravesite, finally ready, to pretend they were greiving and get everyone's pity.
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| ==Vegeta Version==
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| Now this is a story all about how
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| My scouter said power level’s over nine thous
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| And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there
| |
| I’ll tell you how I became a meme on /b/ just last year.
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| On planet Vegeta, born and raised
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| On the battlefield is where I spent most of my days
| |
| Crashin’ and bashin’ and killin’ all cool
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| And shootin’ my energy beams at some Tuffel fools
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| When Frieza and his goons they were up to no good
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| Started conquering in my neighborhood
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| And he blew up our moon ‘cause he was scared
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| And said “You gonna work for me, or yo’ ass gonna be dead.”
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| I got shot down to Earth and when I came near
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| The scouter said nine with three zeroes on the end
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| If anything I’d say this power level’s rare
| |
| But I thought “Aw, screw it. Kakarot, you’re dead!”
| |
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| I looked up at the moon and went all ape
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| And he cut off my tail and said “Go home, smell ya later.”
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| Next time I was online, saw I was already there
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| Posted all over /b/, I was meme of the year.
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| ==Guantanamo Bay Version==
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| Now, this is a story all about how
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| My life got flipped-turned upside down
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| And I liked to take a minute
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| Just sit down yo’
| |
| I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called GTMO.
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| In the USA born and raised,
| |
| In the military spending most of my days,
| |
| Marching, saluting, bein’ no fool,
| |
| And shootin’ some 9-mils outside, it’s all cool.
| |
| When a couple of Middle-East guys,
| |
| Who were up to no good,
| |
| Started makin' trouble in my New York neighborhood.
| |
| They blew up two little buildings and Bush got scared,
| |
| and said 'You're goin' to GTMO.” And I got despaired.
| |
| | |
| I rented a “GTMO Special” when I got there,
| |
| The license plate said “Iguana” and an aroma of Banana Rat in the air.
| |
| If anything I can say this Special auto was low,
| |
| But I thought 'Stop resisting' - 'You’re in Guantanamo.
| |
| | |
| I pulled up to the wire about 04 or 05,
| |
| And I yelled to the Special 'Yo Rusty smell ya later' (glad to be alive).
| |
| I looked at my Detention Facility,
| |
| I was finally there,
| |
| To sit on a chair and run this day-care.
| |
| | |
| ==Fo shizzle meh nizzle Version==
| |
| | |
| Now thizzle is the stizzle all
| |
| Abizzle hizzle lizzle got flippizzle,
| |
| Turnizzle upsidizzle dizzle
| |
| Id lizzle to tizzle a minutizzle jizzle sit rizzle therizzle
| |
| Tizzle you how I becamizzle the princizzle of a tizzle callizzle bizzle
| |
| | |
| In wizzle philadelfizzle bizzle and raisizzle
| |
| The playgrizzle whizzle I spizzle mizzle of ma' days
| |
| Chillizzle out, maxizzle, relaxizzle all cizzle
| |
| All shootizzle sizzle b-bizzle outsidizzle of the school
| |
| Whizzle a couplizzle of gizzle sizzle wizzle up in no good
| |
| Startizzle makizzle troublizzle in ma' neighbourhizzle
| |
| Got in one littlizzle fizzle and ma' mom got scarizzle
| |
| Sizzle yizzle movizzle wizzle yizzle auntizzle and unclizzle in bizzle
| |
| | |
| I whistlizzle fo' a cab and whizzle it cizzle nizzle
| |
| The Licensplatizzle sizzle frizzle and had a dizzle in the mirrizzle
| |
| Anythizzle I cizzle say thizzle thizzle cab was rarizzle
| |
| I thizzle now forgizzle it, yo hizzle to bizzle
| |
| | |
| I pullizzle up to a hizzle abizzle sizzle or eight
| |
| And I yellizzle to the cizzle yo, hizzle smizzle you later
| |
| Lookizzle at ma' kingdizzle I was finizzle therizzle
| |
| Settlizzle ma' thronizzle as the princizzle of bizzle
| |
| | |
| ==The Neotoric Sovereign of Bel-Air==
| |
| | |
| This is a tale explaining the manner in which
| |
| My way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started
| |
| If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location
| |
| And I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California commonly referred to as Bel-Air (coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778)
| |
| | |
| In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood in my mother’s care
| |
| The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc.
| |
| I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature
| |
| Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my friends
| |
| When a couple of gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief
| |
| Began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being
| |
| And she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air
| |
| | |
| I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago
| |
| Yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence
| |
| She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation
| |
| I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot
| |
| | |
| Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony)
| |
| Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France
| |
| I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood of Bel-Air commonly live
| |
| Indeed I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment
| |
| | |
| I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver and as the driver approached
| |
| I observed his California vanity plate which in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word “fresh” and from his rearview mirror dangled a pair of oversized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games
| |
| In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique
| |
| Instead I cogitatively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community of Bel-Air
| |
| | |
| We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o’clock
| |
| And in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odor through my sense of olfaction
| |
| I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival
| |
| Where I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the community of Bel-Air as monarch
| |
| | |
| ==TEH FRSEH PRINS OV BEL AR==
| |
| | |
| NWO DIZ IZ TEH STROY AL ABOT HWO
| |
| MAH LIEF GOT FLIPD TRRND UPSID DOWN
| |
| ADN ID LAYK @ TAEK A MINT JST SIT RIET THAR
| |
| IL TAL U HWO I BKAM TEH PRINS OV A TON CALD BEL AR
| |
| | |
| IN WSTE FILADELFIA BR0N ADN RAZD
| |
| ON TEH PLAGROND WUZ WER I SPET MOST OV MAH DAIZ
| |
| CHILN OWT MAXN RELAX AL CUL
| |
| AND AL SHUTEN SUM BBAL OTSID TEH SCOL
| |
| WEN A CUPUL O GAIZ HO WUR PU @ NO GOD
| |
| STRATD MAKN TRUBL IN MAH NABRHUD
| |
| I GTO IN ONE LITL FYT ADN MAH MMO GOT SKARD ADN SAD
| |
| UR MOVN WIT UR ANTI ADN UCL IN BEL AR
| |
| | |
| I BEGD ADN PLEEDD HER DAI AFTAR DAI
| |
| B00T SHE PAKD MAH S00TKAYS ADN SNT ME ON MAH WAI
| |
| SEH GAYV MEH A KIS ADN TEHN SHE GAYV MY MAH TIKT
| |
| P00T MAH WLAKMNA ON N SAD I MAIT AS WLEL KIK IT
| |
| FRIZT CLAS J0 DIS IZ BDA
| |
| DIRKNN ORNJ J00S OWT OV A CHAPANE GLAS
| |
| IZ DIZ W00T TEH PPL OV BEL AR LIV LYK
| |
| HM TIHZ MAIT B3 AL RIET
| |
| | |
| I WISLD 4 A CBA ADN WEN IT CAYM NEER
| |
| TEH LISENS PLAT SED FRSEH ADN IT HDA DIES IN TEH MIR
| |
| IF NETIHNG I COD SAI DAT DIZ CAB WUZ RAR
| |
| B00T TEHN I THOT NAH 4GT TI YO HOMZ 2 BEL AR!!11!
| |
| | |
| AH P00LD UP 2DA HOWZ ABOT 7 RO 8
| |
| ADN I YELD 2DA CABI YO HOMZ SEML YA LATR
| |
| LOKD AT MAH KINGDUM AH WUZ FIANLY TEHR
| |
| 2 SIT ON MAH THORN AZ TEH PRINS UV BEL AR
| |
| | |
| =Stories=
| |
| | |
| ==School Bus Story==
| |
| | |
| I was riding home from school today on my bus, listening to music and not paying attention to anything. As we were stopping at one of the bus stops, a girl in the back started screaming. I looked back and saw her pointing out the window, and I followed her stare. Out in an unfenced yard were three guys. Two of them standing, one of them was on the ground, bloody. The taller of the two men had a baseball bat and was about ready to smash it into the downed man's head again, when the men realized a whole busload of kids was looking atthem. As the bus driver radioed in the 911 call, the other man, who hadn't been doing anything, took a pistol out of his pocket and shot the guy in the head. At this point, the whole bus was in shock and glued to the morbid scene. The two men got into a car and sped off. When I came home I was visibly shaken. I told my mom what I had just seen. Then she got scared and said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought "Nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7:00 or 8:00 and I yelled to the cabby, "Yo homes, smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
| |
| | |
| ==Life With Ashley==
| |
| | |
| She said "You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror, if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought: "Man, forget it, yo home to Bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homie, smell you later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air.
| |
| | |
| My first day in Bel-Air was very awkward. I didn't know the Banks, and even though they were all family, they were total strangers. My aunt Vivian was very kind and welcoming. My uncle Phil was friendly as well, but at the same time very intimidating. My cousins Carlton and Hilary were nice enough, but our personalities definitely clashed. This, of course, led to many bizarre and crazy adventures.
| |
| | |
| I was a fish out of water, basically. I grew up in the tough streets of Philedelphia. I didn't have very much money. To keep my head above water financially I would release rap albums and appear in films, Including Men In Black, Wild Wild West, and I, Robot. Now, I was thrown into a whole new world. The world of the upperclassman. The wealthy. The sophisticated. The whole ordeal was just crazy for me. It was hard at first, but the move to Bel-Air became worth it as soon as I got to know Ashley, another cousin I shared my new home with.
| |
| | |
| Ashley was just your average teenage girl I guess, with typical teenage girl problems- boy troubles, insecurity, school, etc. I got along with her pretty well, better than Carlton or Hilary at least. We didn't fight or cause problems for one another so I found it very comforting to spend time around her. She even seemed to enjoy my in-your-face, quirky attitude at times, unlike the others who found it tedious and exhausting. I found myself growing very close to her.
| |
| | |
| The first few years were a lot of fun. I really turned the Banks lives upside down. Just as I had found my life changed completely, so did they. I got up to a lot of mischief in Bel-Air. The Banks would often get involved in this, much to their dismay. I was definitely a handful for them, but I think deep down they enjoyed my stay in Bel-Air. I think they knew I meant well and no matter how much trouble I got in my intentions were always pure. As time passed I continued to get closer to Ashley. I would help her with her problems and she really appreciated that. It was innocent enough at first. She was just a good friend and I enjoyed her company. But things changed quickly. After enough time in Bel-Air, I fell in love with her.
| |
| | |
| I felt guilty for feeling this way. She was my cousin! How could I be attracted to her? I knew it was wrong and I tried to ignore my feelings at first. I tried to convince myself I wasn't in love with her, but it was difficult. I began to try to distance myself from her before my feelings got any more intense. However, I could only keep lying to myself for so long. I tried to accept the fact that I could never be more than a cousin to her. We could never be "together," no matter how bad I wanted her.
| |
| | |
| I was ok for a little while. I started to accept the fact that my love for Ashley could never become anything more than fantasy, but sharing a home with her made this extremely tough. I couldn't avoid her even if I wanted too. By then we were already good friends and she had learned she could confide in me with her problems and her thoughts, so she was always coming to me to talk. Ashley sure didn't make it easy for me.
| |
| | |
| One day, when I had the house all to myself, I walked past Ashley's room and saw that her door was left open. I peaked in and saw a pair of her panties on the floor. A purple thong. It made me horny just looking at it. "That's disgusting," I said to myself. "She's your cousin." I walked away from her door and tried to forget it. I began to walk downstairs when I stopped myself. I turned around and went back to her room. I walked in and spent about an hour sniffing Ashley's used panties. I got so horny as I sat on her bed, sampling her sweet vaginal odors. I licked the inside of every pair of panties I could find, desperate to get any taste of her sweet pussy that I could. Finally I was able to accept my feelings for Ashley. I was no longer disgusted with myself and I enjoyed every whiff of Ashley's pussy that I could get.
| |
| | |
| Then, she walked in. I had lost track of time and I didn't realize school was over for the day. She walked in on me sniffing a blue thong I took out of her hamper. "Will!" she said. "What are you doing!?"
| |
| | |
| "Is anyone else here?" I asked.
| |
| | |
| "No," she said. "Will..."
| |
| | |
| I shut her door and locked it. "What are you doing in my room, Will?" she asked, sort of panic stricken.
| |
| | |
| "I'm sorry, Ashley. It's time. Lay down."
| |
| | |
| "What? No!" she replied.
| |
| | |
| I grabbed her and forced her onto her bed. She tried to scream but I covered her mouth with my hand. She was helpless. She fought with all her strength but I was too big for her. she kicked, scratched, and bit, but it just made me hornier. I tore her clothes off and admired her beautiful body. She continued to scream her desperate screams, none of them being heard by anyone but me and her. I tore my clothes off and imposed my will on her. I didn't think she was a virgin, but she had a pussy that was only tight enough to be a virgins. She cried out in pain as I fucked her. It didn't take long. Only a few seconds and I was ready to cum all over her pretty face. I pulled out and shot my load right into her face. She cried in humiliation. The more she cried the hornier I got. In fact, I was already ready for round too. I flipped her over and smacked her beautiful ass a few times. She continued to cry, and it only got worse when I shoved my dick into her tight little virgin asshole. It was so fucking tight I could barely fit it in her.
| |
| | |
| "PLEASE WILL! I HAVE ALL YOUR ALBUMS! PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME. I'VE SEEN 'WILD WILD WEST' 3 TIMES! DON'T RAPE ME!!!"
| |
| | |
| "That's very flattering," I said, "but I'm not finished with you."
| |
| | |
| I continued to rape her anally. It was the greatest moment of my life. Her ass was so god damn tight. Finally I came again, shooting a gigantic load of cum directly into her black ass. I pulled out and spread her asshole open and watched my cum drop out all over the bed. I scooped some of it up with my fingers and made her lick it off. She struggled but eventually gave in. I made her eat all the cum I could manage to scoop out of her asshole. Her cried were quiet now. I guess she lost her voice. She could only sob quietly as I forced her to eat my cum fresh out of her asshole.
| |
| | |
| "Please, no more!" she said weakly.
| |
| | |
| "I'm done with you for now. But I'll be back for you. I'm going to keep fucking you for as long as I'm in Bel-Air. You are mine now, Ashley. Your pussy and your tight asshole belong to me. I hope you like eating cum because you're gonna be doing a lot of that."
| |
| | |
| She looked up at me. A combination of cum and tears flowed down her face. Weakly and painfully, she looked me in the eye, wiped her tears away and said "You’re moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror, if anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought: "Man, forget it, yo home to Bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homie, smell you later." I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air.
| |
| | |
| ==Cyanide Belair==
| |
| | |
| at 9:45am on the morning of November 15th, 2007, at Fox News's headquarters in New York City, there will be a brief power outage, then everything will appear to return to normal. i will have used the outage, however, to sneak myself and 4 2L bottles of potassium cyanide and a container with .5L as i combine the two deadly ingredients and release a noxious gas that will poison everyone in the lobby. people will shriek in horror, children will cry for their lives, my mom will get scared and say "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
| |
| | |
| ==Sex Belair==
| |
| | |
| When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. so What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
| |
| | |
| ==Gun Belair==
| |
| | |
| So I was walking home the other day through downtown and tried taking some shortcuts. Some guy called me over to his old chevy van and asked if I was looking to buy a piece. I took a look at his inventory and was somewhat impressed. Everything looked very well taken care of and modified in some way. I was looking around and noticed a lack of full automatics, other than the mac, and asked him if he had anything along the line. "Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do." He tossed his cig and reached up to the hood of the car and pulled down a rifle I had only seen once before in a movie. "I think this is what you're looking for. Good enough for an army. I think the Slavs use it." I looked at the rifle for a moment, examining it's design. Finally, I decided; "I don't want this piece of Slav shit." He shot me. "Oh fuck, you shot me!" I yelled and my mom got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and your uncle in bel air." I whistled for a cab but they don't pick up niggers.
| |
| | |
| ==Moot Belair==
| |
| | |
| It was another agonizing day on /b/. Newfags, gaiafags, furfags, you name it. Anonymous was tired of it. Moot was tired of it, too. She wanted to stop it. But she couldn't. There was only one way: Snacks. W.T. Snacks, ex-girlfriend of said Moot, was the only way to solve the cancer that was killing /b/. They decided to meet eventually. As soon as poor Snacks entered Moot's humble little adobe, she was pounced upon. Thrown to the couch, she was quickly stripped of her tight, constricting and beautiful schoolgirl outfit. Now both Snacks and Moot were in their beautiful lingerie. It begun. Moot climbed over Snacks on top of the couch, a slight purr to her neko lips, as she leaned down to gently plant those lips on Snacks' face. Quickly, the blonde, teenage girl struggled and squealed under the neko's grasp, but it was futile. Moot had the upper hand. That upper hand quickly lowered itself, one of Moot's soft, milky hands slowly caressing one of Snacks' delicious breasts, the other intertwined tightly in the smooth blonde hair of the girl beneath her. She replied with a quiet gasp, turning into a soft, shivering moan, as the nekogirl began to molest her. Snacks' back arched in pleasure as she crawled out from under Moot, sitting back against the couch. Moot slid off, onto her knees, in front of the beautiful loli, and then began her work. She pulled aside Snacks' panties, revealing the tiniest sprinkle of silky blonde pubic hair, and the perfectly symmetrical, tightened folds of Snacks' virgin cunt. Her semi-rough neko tongue tenatively stuck out, a hand on each of the girl's thighs. As the tongue dragged along sweet, damp lips, Snacks let out a whimper and a moan of delight, squirming from Moot's ever-so-soft kisses. As Snacks' love juices emptied theirselves into Moot's mouth, her tongue dug deeper, her delicious flat chest grinding up against Snacks' leg. Her own wetness was approaching, plus... something a little different, and Snacks' eyes went wide in shock as she realized the truth. Moot had a penis. The shock quickly subsided into gasps and mewls of love as Moot did her best to pleasure her slit. and eventually Snacks could not resist that pleasure. Her back arched and out rang a loving, passionate moan as she orgasmed, juices finding their way to coat Moot's face and chest. Moot herself could stand it no more. She stood up and dropped her panties, exposing her slim, yet exotic six inch shaft in front of Snacks, pulsating and throbbing in Anticipation. Snacks could not resist. Her legs spread wide, and her fingers held her sopping wet pussy open. The neko futa descended upon Snacks. Almost immediately she was at it, her cock slipping inside Snacks' warm, inviting orifice, beginning to pound mercilessly, crushing her virginity. The larger girl yelped in pain, then mewled in delight, wrapping her arms around Moot's loli frame. Moot's tongue found it's way to Snacks' nipple, suckling on it like a newborn child as one hand groped Snacks' other breast, the other tweaking and playing with Snacks' clit as they mated in passion. Plowing through each of the blonde girl's orgasms, Moot continued to suckle and kiss her breast, pleasure flooding both girls' senses as final orgasms approached. All the hatred, all the bans and horrors of /b/, to this moment, were now drowned in one last second of ecstacy..... ...and then there was no more. Moot almost screamed out in delight as she came, shooting her neko seed deep into Snacks' womb. She could only twitch and shudder in response as their fluids mixed inside Snacks' tight cunt. They lay there for several minutes, when suddenly, Moot's mother entered the house. As she gazed upon the form of her son/daughter, shaft eagerly buried within the wet tunnel of Snacks, she became scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and your uncle in Bel-Air!" I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but I thought naw forget it, "Yo Holmes, to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and yelled to the cabbie, "Yo Holmes, smelled you later!" Looked to my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
| |
| | |
| ==Murder Belair==
| |
| | |
| You've got to help me, /b/. I've done something horrible. I caught my girlfriend cheating with my best friend. When I saw them together, I got so furious, I slit their throats with my pocketknife. Then, I buried the two bodies and my mom got scared And said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
| |
| | |
| ==$cientology goes to Bel-Air==
| |
| Now this is a story all about how<br>
| |
| my life got flipped turned upside down<br>
| |
| and I'd like to take a minute, just sit down and rest<br>
| |
| I'll give you a free personality test!<br><br>
| |
| | |
| In Mission Impossible, born and raised<br>
| |
| Destroying thetans where I spent most of my days<br>
| |
| Auditing, scamming, relaxing all cool<br>
| |
| And collecting some money outside of the school<br>
| |
| when a couple of anons starting raiding without apologies<br>
| |
| so I had to defend my cult of scientology<br><br>
| |
| | |
| I got in one little fight and L.Ron Hubbard got scared<br>
| |
| he said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air"<br><br>
| |
| | |
| I whisled for Xenu and when he came near<br>
| |
| The e-meter said "brainwash" and it had dice in the mirror<br>
| |
| If anything I could say this scam was rare<br>
| |
| But I said fuck it now! Yo, Xenu, to Bel-Air!<br><br>
| |
| | |
| | |
| I paid them in millions, about seven or eight<br>
| |
| And I yelled to L.Ron. Yo Hubbard smell you later<br>
| |
| Looked at my kingdom I was finally there.<br>
| |
| Now I'm scamming the innocent in a town called Bel-Air.<br><br>
| |
|
| |
|
| [[Category: Copypasta]] | | [[Category: Copypasta]] |
| | [[Category: Complete ASAP]] |
