Alex Wuori

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Be on the lookout for Alex Wuori; he is a lulzkiller who tips off sites to impending invasions.

He has a pimple infestation on his face and sleeps with his step-dad in his mother's basement. He studied Mootxicology with Moot in the Mootxico Institute of Tacoslogy.

He is the illegitimate father of Hal Turner. When Hal Turner was young, Alex Wuori and Hal Turner's transexual grandfather, Charles Adeline, often stuck it in Hal Turner's pooper. This resulted in the transmission of sexually transmitted disease from Charles Adeline to Alex Wuori, resulting in the current pimple infestation on Alex Wuori's face.


Information from a "friend"[edit]

  • Wuori is a Runescaper. Account name Ritalina.
  • Wuori is a Gaiauser, Account name is unknown.
  • Wuori is so obessed with /b/, he is texting me over 65 times a day with plans on revenge.
  • Wuori created an operation called 'Chanfire' planning on causing an inner chan war.

Email: From ritalinal@gmail.com <Alex Wuori> to **************** Subject:Chan fire.

I worte this plan up. Off the gaia raid you and i can manage to disrupt the raid by posing as 12chan regulars and post how 420chan is leading the raid. Gaia will raid 420, 420 will raid 12, 12 will already have a reason to disrupt the raid, and appeal to everyone around 12 to raid 420. with all the pedos on each site, each one will unite, and attack 420, and 7! a chan war will be created1

text me if you get this

Alex

  • Wuori has been proving every time he texts me, he has no friends.
  • Wuori is indeed a fagt.
  • Wuori has lots of anger problems, and has even asked me questions regarding bisexuality.
  Ritalinal: Joey i have a question
  Ritalinal: joey its important
  Col Jacen Solo: Sure?
  Ritalinal: is it bad to be curious?
  Ritalinal: JOEY?
  Col Jacen Solo: Curious about what? Sex? No. Everyone is.
  Ritalinal: no about guys
  Col Jacen Solo: How guys feel? No, that's empathy.
  Ritalinal: beyond that, sexually.
  Ritalinal: JORY?
  Col Jacen Solo: Sex with guys? Well. I don't really know? I don't think about that.
  Ritalinal: am i gay?
  Ritalinal: huh?
  Col Jacen Solo: Only you'd know that.
  Ritalinal: i thought you looked prety in that picture with ur gf
  • Wuori has anger issues. He uses /b/ to make himself less angry.
  • Wuori asks me how to deal with acne... Five times a day...
  Col Jacen Solo: I'm growing a beard.
  Ritalinal: ive got acne how do i get rid of it
  Col Jacen Solo: lolwut?
  Ritalinal: ANSWER
  Col Jacen Solo: Shower daily, wash your face in the morning, and at night...
  Get clearasel I think it's called that...
  • Wuori has a massive shota fetish.
  Ritalinal: you seen those 7chan shota pics?
  Ritalinal: JOEY?
  Col Jacen Solo: No. Don't look at shota.
  Ritalinal: u should!
  Ritalinal: its cool =D
  Col Jacen Solo: meh. I fap on my own, porn helps, but I enjoy my own adventures...
  Ritalinal: wanna see which one i'm looking at?
  Ritalinal: HUH?
  Col Jacen Solo: Not really Alex...
  Ritalinal: it's one of zelda, and link =D
  • Wuori is depressed, and has attempted to commit suicide.
  Col Jacen Solo: Sup Alex!
  Col Jacen Solo: Just got out of the shower, how're you?
  Ritalinal: terrible! my mom yelled at me.
  Col Jacen Solo: Why?
  Ritalinal: for trying to hang myself with a belt.
  Ritalinal: and a door knob.
  Col Jacen Solo: You tried to hang yourself with a sash, and a door knob...?
  Ritalinal: my acne makes girls not like me.
  Col Jacen Solo: We all struggle in that field sometimes.
  • Wuori hates Kirtaner.
  • Wuori wishes his penis was as big at Kirt's.
  • Wuori wants to be a cop.
  Ritalinal: joey i took this test today about what i will be when i get older!
  Ritalinal: im gonna be a cop
  Col Jacen Solo: Gonna catch sum /b/tards?
  Ritalinal: no i'm gonna shoot them.
  • Wuori is a fagt.
  • I gave you these logs, since i am a piece of shit, now you have something to do besides subeta.

As of late[edit]

With alot of confusion as to the identity of WitnessX, Wuori seemingly slipped off the map for a period of time. However, Wuori was caught trying to warn yet another forum (full of terrorist sandkips) about an upcoming raid. At this point Anonymous declared this was serious business and started an effort make him an hero.

With this recent discovery it has been concluded that Wuori is in fact a terrorist, so it is your duty as a concerned citizen to get him V& for aiding/supporting terrorists!

He seems to have stopped for now, however, this may not be the case. Lately, moderators and administrators from recently raided forums have somehow found out about 420chan, and how they are raiding their forum. One can conclude that Wuori has had a change of tactics, warning targets via private messaging rather that publicly posting. It is recomended that during ANY raid to pose as Wuori to lay blame on him along with Ebaums.

Rumors of current locations[edit]

It is believed by one of the (the editor in question is probably a retard) editors of this article that he is masquerading in the Gamepolitics blog as Internet Hate Machine and meme-related names. It is also believed by the same retarded editor that Wuori has been given protection by Ebaums during and since the second anniversary of the internet vs Ebaumsworld raid from 2005.

Moar Info[edit]

  • Full name: Alexander Wuori
  • Date of birth: October 5, 1992
  • Internet handles: MagicHobo, ritlina, Naliitr
  • Email addresses: the_magic_hobo@hotmail.com, zypher_54@yahoo.com
  • Dad: Kenneth F. Wuori
  • Address: 57 Barcelona Ct Fairfield, CA 94533-2860 [1]
  • Phone (Home): (707) 425-2435 <may be disconnected>
  • Phone (Cell): (707) 290-0254
  • Notes:
    • His dad already knows of his faggotry and has already promised to permaban him from the internets by burning his computer. **Anonymous should concentrate on the mom and stepdad for now as further attention on the dad would only get the dad pissed at Anonymous rather than at Alex.
  • Recording of a phone call to his Dad (dead)
  • Mom: Kelly L. Parvin
  • Maiden name: Orton
  • Myspace: (deleted)
  • Address: 2101 Falcon Dr Fairfield, CA 94533-2860
  • Phone: (707) 427-1085

Links[edit]

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