The Book of Anon

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Revision as of 05:01, 11 October 2008 by >Hitlerlol (New page: The basic idea of the project is to take the Bible as a template and change it so that it reflects the belief and culture of Anon. '''Still under heavy construction.''' =Characters= * '...)
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The basic idea of the project is to take the Bible as a template and change it so that it reflects the belief and culture of Anon.

Still under heavy construction.

Characters

  • God = Kirtaner
  • Jesus = Raptor Jesus
  • Moses = Kakama
  • Snake in the tree = Keef
  • Adam and Eve = Moot and W.T. Snacks
    • Instead of eating the apple as the first sin, Moot and Snacks got it on.
  • Satan = Alex Wuori
  • Cain = p4
  • Abel = Ian
  • Judas = Tinal
  • The Guardian of the Gates to Hell = Hal Turner

Apostles

  1. Slowpoke
  2. Pedobear
  3. Cockmongler
  4. Bridget
  5. Happy Negro
  6. Suiseiseki
  7. Afroduck
  8. Shoop da Whoop
  9. Seung-Hui Cho
  10. Vegeta (OVER 9000!)
  11. Mudkips
  12. EFG (Epic Fail Guy)

Suggested memes

  • teh rei
  • sageman
  • Candlejack
  • Captain Picard
  • Cracky-chan
  • Diabeetus
  • Fap man (discarded as a prophet)
  • Goatse
  • O RLY
  • Picard
  • Popcorn Mariachi
  • Seaking
  • That FUCKING CAT (discarded as a prophet)
  • Will Smith

Suggested enemies

  • Feminazis
  • Jew (who backstabs Jesus)
  • Gaiafags
  • Scientologists
  • ebaums
  • Furry
  • Any target anon has had dealings with over the years really

Mythology

  • The holy animal is a cat
  • The unholy animal is the dog

Books

  • Old Testament
    1. The Book of Genes/i/s (Genesis, creation, would be about 2ch, maybe 4chan, and the naming of days: caturday, furry friday esp. since Friday is when animals were created. {Perhaps Literathursday was the day the Book of Anon was created? Also, Soviet Sunday.)
    2. The Book of /b/day (Exodus, how Capn freed the /b/tards and took them to 7chan)
    3. The Book of Tubes (Leviticus I, will be inspired/copypastad from The Rules of the Internet)
    4. The Book of Insurgency (Leviticus II, will be inspired/copypastad from The Rules of /i/). If a rule/suggestion doesn't fit in either book, it can be a beatitude to be put in another book.
    5. Num/b/ers (Numbers, arrival at 7chan)
    6. The Book of Copypasta (Psalms)
    7. The Book of Memes (Proverbs, all the memes out there)
    8. The Book of Gaia (Ecclesiastes; Bitching about the cancer that is killing /b/)
    9. The Book of Jailbait (Song of Solomon, erotic copypasta)
    10. The Book of Intentionally Left Blank ( )
  • New Testament
    1. The Book of 4chan (Gospel about Raptor Jesus)
    2. The Book of 7chan (also Gospel)
    3. The Book of 420chan (also Gospel)
    4. The Book of 12chan (also Gospel)
    5. The Book of Raids (Alex Wuori, Hal Turner, Habbo, and all the other major achievements in Anon history)
    6. The Book of Loli (Blind Mute Loli story)
    7. The Book of Desu (Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu Desu)
    8. The Book of Catnarok (Revelation, about the end of the world)

Christfag bible books (in order)

  • Old Testament: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, Samuel, Kings, Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Tobias, Judith, Esther, Machabees, Job, Psalms, Odes, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Wisdom of Solomon, Sirach, Isaias, Jeremias, Lamentations, Baruch, Ezekiel, Daniel
  • New Testament: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, 2 Thessalonians, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James, 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, Jude, Revelation

Beatitudes

  • Blessed are the Lurkors, for they shall know the way of /b/
  • Tacgnol is gnooooooll and none shalt be regnol than Him (discarded as a commandment)
  • DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU (discarded as a commandment)
  • Let he who hath lurked moar cast the first b&

Commandments

  1. Longcat is loooooonng and none shalt be longer than Him
  2. Thou shalt not speak of /b/
  3. Thou shalt not forgive or forget, and shall lay low those who break these commandments
  4. eBaumsworld did it.
  5. Thou shalt not kill lulz nor wrongfully use memes
  6. Anonymous be not thy personal army
  7. Thou shalt not pleasure thyself to furry porn
  8. Thou shalt not attack thy fellow Anonymous
  9. ???
  10. Profit

Discarded

  • There is porn of it (would be written as commandment 34)
    • Isn't a commandmment and will appear in the Book of Tubes anyway.

Sins

  1. Furfaggotry
  2. Linkromancy (Linking to dead sites)
  3. Namefaggotry
  4. Weeabooism
    1. Wait what about... all of 4chan. I propose Attention Whoring
  5. Emoism
  6. Spaiing (except PsyOps in the name of Longcat)
  7. Failtrolling

Suggestions

  • SageAIDSing
  • "And the so keef spake saying "Behold! Gaze upon this furry and pleasure yourself to its image, so that you may be furry as the almighty Longcat is furry. Only in this way will you become his equal." Moot then did fap whilst watching the furry and spilled his seed unto the ground.

Locations

  • MySpace
  • Gaia
  • Habbo
  • YTMND
  • Everywhere
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